Memo To Britney Spears
by James B. Cheatham
low-rise jeans
don’t fly
in Louisiana
pull up your pants
cinch them with a belt
you might get a ticket
introducing
the Baggy Pants Bill
can’t wear pants below the waist
exposing skin
the crack of the anus
or intimate clothing
three eight-hour days
of community service
a fine up to $175
if you do
who knows?
may improve your behavior
may lift your mind
it is hard to legislate morality
it is
you can’t really do it
but plain old bad taste
that’s just gotta stop