My friend Humpty Dumpty lay dying on his back,
he moaned as we stared, and leaked yolk from his crack.

"I’m done my dear friends, that fall was my last.
Now eat me you bastards." He said with a laugh.

Fetch plates and some forks for all the Kings men,
it’s their breakfast too, for aiding our friend.

He mused as he faded and motioned us close,
A final explanation to ease all our woes.

"Every morning on that wall, I climbed for a look,
to jerk myself off, as girls bathed in the brook."

"I see that your sickened, and some are appalled,
but when maidens went bathing I was up on that wall."

"I tell you a secret, I’m not a bad ilk,
the farmer in the dell, he jerks off in your milk."

Poor Humpty Dumpty he died a real charmer,
and later that night, we all hanged the farmer.

Acknowledgements:

Humpty Dumpty is an Original Character created by Lewis Carroll. From the novel "Through The Looking Glass" by Lewis Carroll.

The Farmer In The Dell is an Original Character created by Phil Stong. From the novel "Farmer In The Dell" by Phil Stong.