All right, so the city's more or less a buzz saw you live inside, the echo and reverb of its perpetual cutting a constant of everyday existence, not to mention the machine's endless whining about migraines and sleeplessness how about a little break? a holiday to Hawaii for Christ's sake? Well in the first place you're a city---how would we ever get you all on a plane? even a fleet of them, probably you'd want budget discounts and once there where would they put you? an extinct volcano? what if one of those turns out only dormant, then where will you be? all over the island, that's where I mean there's a simple solution: stay where you are, just shut off now and again for crying out loud! Bzz bzz, whirr whirr gash slice 24/7 what do you think? that's a way to promote mental health and stability? give yourself a break from yourself. I'm a vital component of modern industry---without my relentless output how would life or anything thrive? Vital component of modern industry! you chop the heads off sparrows and the testicles off otters. There's . . . a certain need for that service in the modern world ohh! fuck! stabbing pains and lights. (Give a set of steel razor teeth a mind of its own and it'll take advantage, believe you me)

but is that any reason to ignore the niceties, let standards slide? use 'lay' for 'lie', serve tepid cappuccino? be disrespectful of children or rude to your elders (in one case that was you, in the other it will be)? go out of your way to make visiting leaders of the current administration feel wanted and welcome? paste name stickers into books or highlight the text in four colours of marker to differentiate according to a private scheme you'll forget as soon as you've adopted it? put so many forks for different uses out your guests are bound to fall into error, and snicker when they do? a hatchet murder's understandable, but one to a lifetime please unless excessively provoked: and if you don't want to run afoul of city ordinances or gaming tax representatives, make sure you get your victim's permission in writing. Suicidal impulses are thicker round these parts than smoke round the doorway to an establishment where cigarettes are banned, so that's not always difficult. Sure it takes some of the frisson away if your victim wants to die, but haven't you twigged yet that we don't live in a perfect world and sure as hell not a perfect city? Proper disposition of the remains is mandatory, it's a question of respect, and unless you're willing to apply unusually effective cleaners and solvents we recommend burning the murder clothes.